I have absolutely no sense.
One of my mind-numbing online hobbies is to follow the crash of the housing market. It gives me great hope that someday we might buy a house, not a condo. I've been watching the declines, but prices are still not in line with fundamentals and we would still be overextending ourselves just to buy a tiny, crappy fixer. But still I check listings, and still I think "Oh well, it's not our year."
And then I saw that the Avocado House was for sale. For $350k.
Back when we lived in the canyons, I used to drive past it and think, in that way we all think when we see a house we really love, "If only." I never, ever seriously thought it would be within my reach. And now it is. We went to see it, Dan loves it too. It's so beautiful, on a huge lot with avocado trees and a tiered yard and everything, just everything I want in a home. The kitchen is a blank slate, stripped almost bare. We called a realtor I met back in the summer; she found out the bank had just accepted an offer. I am heartbroken to think that I just missed the chance to have it, but we are preparing a backup offer, just in case.
The truth is it would wipe out our savings to buy it. It would make getting me and Paul to school a lot more difficult. I am quite certain that my father's deteriorating condition makes me emotionally unreliable, vulnerable. But the view. The house. The place. To be settled again.
It will almost certainly not happen. But it gives me some hope that maybe I don't have to turn my back on California. Maybe we'll go back to the canyons after all.