Saturday, January 03, 2009

Funeral Blues

Well, I knew Dad didn't have six months. He may not even have six days now. Things have just degenerated rapidly.

Please forgive me for making this Colleen's Depressing Blog About Her Dad Dying. There is just nothing in my world right now aside from this. Dan has taken over as Super Dad, making us wonderful breakfasts and trying to comfort and entertain me. I take the wrong exits on the freeway. I buy the wrong things at the store. I eat without noticing what's going in my mouth. My uncles and aunts (and some cousins) came down today to say their goodbyes. Uncle Alan can't bring himself to do it, he watched Aunt Marilyn die this way and can't handle seeing my Dad that way, too. But as these kinds of deaths go, I think this is as good as it can be. We are blessed with a loving and tight-knit family.

The funeral. Dad wants to be cremated, so there's no pressure to have the funeral right away. We're not sure where to have the funeral - it won't be at the church; long story. If you would like to come to the funeral, please email me or message me on Facebook with your phone # and I will let you know when the date is set.

Cremation. by Robinson Jeffers.

It nearly cancels my fear of death, my dearest said,
When I think of cremation. To rot in the earth
Is a loathsome end, but to roar up in flame -
besides, I am used to it,
I have flamed with love or fury so often in my life,
No wonder my body is tired, no wonder it is dying.
We had great joy of my body. Scatter the ashes.


Julia Harps said...

I am so sorry.

Stephanie said...

Sooo sorry. I would like to come. Please call me. I love you. We'll be keeping you and our family in our prayers.

Stephanie said...

I meant "your" family. Love you tons!

colleen said...

i love you both. thank you.

liannallama said...

Oh, sweetie! My heart breaks for you! Your dad is such a wonderful and strong man and such a loving spirit. Just from the short times I met him I could tell that he spread goodness and sunshine into our dreary world. (((HUGS))) to you.

satoko_us said...


I'm so sorry. I don't know what else to say. You and your family are in our prayer. I wish I lived near you so that I could help you out with your boys, or anything else...

Rachel said...

I'm so sorry. I'm a woman of leisure now so how can I help you?

Anonymous said...

Oh, Colleen. I am so sad for you and wish I could somehow be there for you at this difficult time. And, please do not worry about it being a "depressing" blog. We all love you here, and know if we were in your shoes, we would need the comfort of loved ones and friends during this difficult time. So, don't you be afraid of spilling your guts. We are all here for you. Besides, after all of this is all said and done, you will still feel the need to talk about it, and this is part of the healing process. Again, we all love you, and want to be here for you during your pain and eventually your healing when that happens. Besides, it is your blog, so you should be able to talk about anything your heart desires, right? I talked to my parents and they definitely would like to go to the funeral. So, if you can send them an invitation, I know they want to be there. They have known your family for so many years. I think it has been since the 70's, or something like that. Anyway, I am sending much love and peace to you and your family. My heart is breaking for all of you right now, and I hope that you all are doing as well as you can under the circumstances. Hugs!!!!

Love and Hugs,

Nancy Curtis said...

So sorry to hear of your dad's passing this am. Our love and prayers are with you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Your dad is a great man, I've always loved him and your mom. Weird to think of you and I loosing our dads so close together (my dad died last Jan.) I called and let all my children know for you.

We love you and are here for you. Let us know about arrangements-I'll check back here.

Nancy & Marty

PS I just checked Matt and Courtney's blog to see if there was any info there and noticed a link to Shawnelle"s blog. Small world-she is my second cousin once removed.

Kimberly said...

I am so glad you are allowing this window into your soul. Don't feel any sort of need to apologize for exposing us to your real emotions. We love you for those intense feelings and would feel deprived if you did not share with us how you are and what is effecting you. That said, I'm really sorry you had to go through the pain of losing your dad. I'm also very much in awe of how gracefully you've handled this. I didn't get to experience a whole lot with your dad, but what I remember of him was that he was a witty guy that seemed to have an adventurous spirit- cooking shrimp (I think that's what it was) out on a BBQ was adventurous to me.