Tuesday, March 10, 2009

A Poor Choice.

This is so Lifetime movie-of-the-week. I never, ever thought I'd ever be even remotely involved in anything like this.

Ethan, one of Paul's best friends at school, has unfortunately been the victim of a custody battle for years. Recently, his mother was awarded temporary full custody. Now his father has disappeared with him. I know both the parents, I've had both of them over for playdates. I knew Ethan's father was frustrated by the process and sick of the endless court battles (I had gently inquired about a communication failure I had observed at school, and he filled me in a little bit), but his mother never talked to me about her feelings on it.

And now it's come to this. I know Ethan's parents both love him, and I can't imagine what it must be like to be involved in an endless tug-of-war over your own child. Ethan's mother must be tearing her hair out. What drove Ethan's father to this, I cannot fathom. Paul hasn't mentioned not seeing Ethan, but I know eventually he'll ask about it. When he does, I'm just going to tell him Ethan went away with his father for a while. This is just awful for everybody involved.


Kimberly said...

That is so tragic! We hear about it on the news often, but when it strikes close to home, it makes it so much more relevant. I wish parents would just be more civil and careful about divorces/ custody.
I can't tell you how many times I've seen kids being used as a prop in a dramatic tug-of-war. What's interesting is how self centered some parents tend to be at things like parent teacher conferences... you'd think they would be there to ask how to help their child cope with the changes,or be better at their academics but far too often it is all about how their own feelings are hurt or how they disapprove of the child raising choices their ex is making.
Either way, Ethan is going to have some sort of scar from this experience. Either he'll lose contact with his mom, or his Dad will eventually be caught and jailed. Then, no one wins.

Susan M said...

That's really sad. I had a coworker years ago who had been kidnapped as a child by her father and she spent some years with him in Alaska. I'm pretty sure as soon as she was 18 she tracked down her mom and went to live with her.

Stephanie said...

Sad. Soo sad. Mostly for Ethan, but for your boys and you and everyone who knows and loves him. I wish that we could rewind life sometimes.