Thursday, May 28, 2009

You Only Live Once

This is a feeling that is weighing heavily on me. I know we will all have failures in our lives, I know we all have starry-eyed dreams that won't come true. A young man (19 years old, wow) from my ward gave a really excellent talk on Sunday about the long-term consequences of the choices we made years ago, and the choices we make now. I have to face that certain things are set, that the actions have taken place and will not be un-done. Don't worry, it's not about Dan and me, except in the sense that he is my other half.

I am struggling with choices right now. I have some painful ones to make. I've been able to put off a lot of them because I was so busy with school. But that's over and now I have mental spare time. Some decisions are easy to make, because my inaction makes the decision for me - I make excuses for why I can't, and thus I effectively choose not to do the thing I don't want to do. Or the thing that I want to do, but am too afraid of doing. Or I can't find a means to make it happen. Or, as is one of the cases right now, I have to be patient and wait for the right time.

I'm being vague. I have to be. We're having my Mom and some friends over Friday night, and I'm glad. Boy, do I need friends right now.

6 comments:

courtney said...

Are you ok? PLEASE PLEASE let me know if you need anything.

Stephanie said...

I love you . . . I hope you know that. You are loved by so many people. I'm so sorry you are hurting.

Julia Harps said...

we're coming rain or shine!
I think the hardest part about hard things is life is the lonliness that comes with it. Hang in there. I think you are great. You impress me all the time.

Kimberly said...

I feel your turmoil. You're not alone. Some choices appear to be a huge hardship when you're looking at it head on. Once it is far enough a distance in the rearview mirror and you've made a decision, you may question what made it such a mountain in the first place.

Ken said...

If you chance to meet a frown, do not let it stay... quickly turn it upside down, and smile that frown away...

I hope that put a smile on your face, even if for a moment.

Sending out some positive energy your way. Hang in there.

Lee said...

You're the best, Colleen. We're excited to see you this summer, if it all works out that we can. :)