Thursday, August 27, 2009

Uncertainty

I started Anatomy this week. Already I kind of hate it and am overwhelmed. There are a LOT of bones in the skull, and they have many, many bumps and folds and holes and dents that all have their own names. It doesn't help that Dan is gone this week, and Eli has been running a fever since Sunday night (it seems to be fading away today, thank heavens), and it's disgustingly hot and we have no way to cool the house, and I'm exhausted because I don't sleep well when I'm alone (the boys have been at mom's house because I have nobody else to babysit them at 7:00 am).

Yesterday in lab, the department head came in and talked to us about making sure we really want to be nurses. She said 50% of all new nurses quit within 2 years of entering the field. There's a nursing/health career orientation this Friday afternoon and I may get a babysitter so I can attend it and learn more about what to expect. This speaks to a secret fear that cropped up this spring: what if I'm making a mistake? What if I hate nursing? I've worked a job I loathed before in order to improve our lot, and that drove me into temporary insanity (literally - I was not in my right mind). I do NOT want to repeat that experience again.

So I feel like I'm back at square one. I need to meet with a career counselor. I just want a career that I can do part-time, makes decent money (supplementing Dan's income), and would let me live in a place with better access to wilderness.

5 comments:

stephaniestempinski said...

I looked into nursing and I had the same doubts. After much prayer and searching, I decided to take another route, but you need to do your own soul/career searching.

You can make good decisions! Good luck to you!

Love you!

liannallama said...

oh, (((HUGS)))! Don't doubt yourself--you are strong and you can do this. there are lots of different jobs available in nursing so don't let them scare you! Keep with the program for now and you can always change your major at the last minute and then you'll still have a degree.

I don't know why they are trying to scare you out of it so early on--who cares if so many nurses quit--I'm sure they still are using their knowledge and skills even if it is in a different capacity. Follow your dream and you can always change your mind later (this is coming from an ex-Psychology gal who is now in an internet job!)

Sorry Dan's gone and Eli's not feeling well. Hope it gets back to normal soon.

colleeeen said...

oh, you're such good friends. Lianna, thank you for the hug. Steph, thanks for the love.

I just don't know what to do. I feel really, really awful about this semester. I feel like it's a mistake. I hope things will feel better when Dan is back. I'm never right when he's gone this long.

Kimberly said...

I understand how scary it is to resign yourself to walk a line in one direction when you probably feel more like someone who is better suited to branch out. It isn't easy. I'm a fan of being completely aware of what you're getting yourself into. Just don't be intimidated, because you've already proven to yourself that even when the material is difficult you CAN master it if you don't give up.

Satoko said...

To be honest with you, I think you should at least like what you do. If you don't like to teach, don't be a teacher. If you don't like to deal with people, don't work at the customer service. When I was working as a CNA at the nursing home, I saw many CNA who didn't like dealing with elderly people and they didn't do good job and the patients suffered from that. I think nursing is for the people who are compassionate and caring. I think you are compassionate and caring and I'm confident that you can do it, but you have to ask yourself whether this is what you want to do. Good luck!